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About Deviant Vandi/Divan LyMale/Canada Group :iconbionicle-moc-club: BIONICLE-MOC-CLUB
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Bionicle MOC: Sir Richard Alastair by 3rdeye88

Okay, with more views in mind, this MOC is for sure more unique and interesting with its colourscheme, different body style than the ty...

Bionicle MOC: Matteo by 3rdeye88

First, I'd like to say that I'm taking study time to do this critique so you better be happy. x'D Alright, Matteo has been going throug...



[ ] They are possessed by an angel
[ ] They are possessed by a demon
[ ] They are a werewolf/vampire/faerie
[ ] They are physically strong.
[ ] They have a rare hair/fur color
[ ] Their eyes are an unusual color
[ ] This happens to be red
[ ] Their eyes change color
[x] They have wings
[/] They can grow extra body parts/ shapeshift(shapeshift)
[ ] They are immortal
[/] (if a female) they have large boobs(I'm gonna let you guys decide on that one)
[ ] (if a male) they are very muscular
[x] They are very attractive to the opposite gender.
[x] They are telekinetic/pyrokinetic/etc
[ ] They have sixth sense/can mind-read/etc
[x] They have an object of some sort that gives them powers
[ ] They have a special ability/power, but they don't know about it yet
[ ] They were bestowed/cursed with these powers
[ ] They are a healer
[ ] They are from a very rich/royal family
[ ] They don't know that they are from a very rich/royal background
[x] They have lost one/both of their parents
[ ] They ran away from home
[ ] Their parents are cruel, uncaring, abusive etc.
[ ] They witnessed one/both of their parent's death
[ ] They are part angel/demon/faerie/some other mythical creature
[ ] They never knew their parents
[ ] They were abused/spoiled as a child
[ ] They are very attractive to the same gender
[ ] They have lots of friends/no friends
[ ] They are emo/cutesy
[ ] They look much younger/older than they really are.
[ ] They are currently in a relationship
[x] They have lots of morals and state them a fair bit for example: 'I would rather be with my friends than with my boyfriend/girlfriend' 'Nothing matters more to me than my friends/family' 'I wouldn't hesitate to die in place of a friend' etc. It's fine if your OC has these beliefs/values, but if they constantly say them out loud/preach them to others, then we have a problem.
[ ] They have a mental disorder
[ ] They have an emotional disorder
[ ] They struggle to stay sane
[ ] They are a psycho
[ ] They have multiple personalities
[x] They are very intelligent
[ ] They have hallucinations
[ ] They can summon spirits/demons/angels etc.
[ ] They have an unusual/unrealistic pet
[ ] They have a guardian spirit
[ ] They have a 'special type' of soul
[ ] Their soul is not the same as them
[ ] They can talk to spirits/ghosts
[ ] Some part of their body glows
[ ] They have a rare/unusual name
[ ] They were born on an important date, such as New Year's Eve, Midsummers Night, The Winter Solstace etc.
[ ] They have a twin/sibling that they were separated from at birth/a young age
[x] They are connected with a certain element
[ ] They are connected with a certain animal
[ ] They always dress like a certain 'label'
[ ] They look quite a bit like a character from a popular anime/manga
[ ] They are a race/species that is discriminated against/misunderstood
[ ] They have a certain power that is misunderstood/feared
[x] They live/lived on the streets at some point in their lives
[ ] They are hiding from someone/something
[ ] They have a rare blood type
[ ] They cry blood
[ ] Certain noises/smells/situations/etc make their powers activate/give them a nervous breakdown
[ ] They are from a different country to where they live
[ ] They are very mysterious/dark
[ ] They are very lively/happy
[ ] Their mood changes a lot/very quickly
[ ] They are very patient
[ ] They are from a long line of
[ ] They have a piece of jewelry/clothing that they always wear
[ ] They have amnesia
[ ] They have some sort of permanent medical condition
[ ] The have a curse upon them
[ ] They are involved in some sort of prophecy
[ ] They are 'the chosen one'
[ ] They have insomnia

Overall points: 12.5

Take points off your OCs overall score if they fit any of the following statements:

[ ] They smoke
[ ] They are an alcoholic
[ ] They are overweight
[ ] They are addicted to drugs
[x] They have a short temper
[ ] They enjoy bullying others
[ ] They do not care much about others
[ ] They are emotionless

Point Reductions: 0

Final score: 9...

Balanced...phew! Looks like a gem but not annoying! :D


5 Anti-Sue/Stu
Your character may be a bit on the boring side. Of course, this does depend, but generally if they are scoring that low, it wouldn't hurt to 'spice them up' a bit.

6-15 Balanced Character
If your OC scored around here, then they are probably quite a well-balanced and interesting character. Those scoring in the higher end of this category may be a bit too much though.

16-25 Borderline Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu
We have a problem. You need to tone your character down. They are most likely a bit annoying to others, too.

26  Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu


Vandi/Divan Ly
Hi~! Yes this is KuroEtShiro from YouTube and Vandi Ly from MOCpages. I just take fancier or earlier pics of my MOCs and TRY to put in other stuff for fun. xD

Current Residence: A house
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Whaaaaa...?
Print preference: Way too cheap la~
Favourite genre of music: Rock, Pop, Metal
Favourite photographer: John Wood
Favourite style of art: derp...
Operating System: Windows 7, think gamer
MP3 player of choice: Archos 3 Vision, think price
Shell of choice: As in?
Wallpaper of choice: Domo
Skin of choice: ...?
Favourite cartoon character: There's a lot
Personal Quote: Life isn't fair, but that doesn't allow you to be a jerk.

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romerskixx Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the fav.
zephyrnic Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
thx 4 the fave bro! :D
ShadowWolfHount Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012
DeviantArtistMax Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
KarameruYukika Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012

deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
KuroEtShiro Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012
Bloody hell, you one of my sis's friends?!
KarameruYukika Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012

deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Tammylovessweets Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012  Hobbyist
KarameruYukika Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2012
DeviantArtistMax Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You've been hugged!
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their profile!)

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay!
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1, On Second thought, Please give one back.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved
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